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Copywriting with more personality than your drunk uncle

Conversion-focused copy that is always custom, always packed with personality, wit, and humor, and always sounds like you wrote it.

Your website should work hard. Even when you’re not.

That “sales engine” you keep hearing about? That’s your website.

It’s the always-on, always-caffeinated, always-toned version of YOU that doesn’t get tired and never has to poop.

When you write you hire me to write a kick-ass one, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

What copy would you like?

Full Website Copywriting

starting at $2,500

Whether you need your first website, or your current one needs a big ol’ zhuzh, this service is what you need when you’re ready to finally *fall in love* with your online presence (and watch future clients fall in love, too).

    • Up to 8 pages of custom, optimized, wireframed copy

    • Custom Questionnaire

    • 90-minute kick-off and strategy call

    • Market & Consumer Research

    • Up to 5 past client interviews

    • SEO keywords

    • 60-minute review call

    • 1 round of edits

    • Collaboration with your web designer

  • 4–6 weeks. This gives me enough time to know you better than your mother does, do aaaall of the SEO and market research under the sun, and write custom copy that you’ll love.

  • Optional (and highly recommended).

    Consider balling out on one of these bad boys for maximum website effect:

    • Fully optimized sales page for a new offer or product

    • Strategic, SEO-optimized blog posts

Sales Page Copywriting

starting at $750

Your sales page is the very last thing your customer sees before they hit purchase. The best sales pages communicate exactly what an offer is and exactly who it’s for — all with a personality, tone, and point of view they can’t resist.

    • 1 fully custom sales page

    • Offer Questionnaire

    • 60-minute kick-off and strategy call

    • Market & Consumer Research

    • SEO keywords

    • 60-minute review call

    • 1 round of edits

    • Collaboration with your web designer

  • 2 weeks. This gives me enough time to dive DEEP into your offer and understand what makes it stand out and EXACTLY who it’s for before I write long-form, custom copy you’ll adore.

  • Checkout Page Copy | $200

    To make sure your customer won’t back out once they head to your checkout page, consider adding on checkout page copy. This copy is an extension of your sales page and helps keep their motivations high and their objections at bay.

Copy Audit

starting at $400

Need something *perfected* before you hit publish? Get my eyeballs on it! I audit sales copy, emails, and webpages to make sure they’re in tip-top-shape to convert your audience (with a sh*t-ton of personality on the side).

Have something else in mind?

Send me a note!

  • Need an email sequence?

  • Want a lively podcast interview?

  • Want me to teach in your membership?

“I was screaming as I was reading it, like:

YUUUP YES YES YUP SHE GOT IT.”

— Vicki Pollack

what to expect from your copy project

Inquire with me!

Do that here. And we'll schedule a zero-pressure 15-minute call to make sure we vibe. (No need to worry! If you're nice, we'll vibe.)

Project kick-off

We’ll set a start date, you pay 50% to secure it, and then we GO!

Fill out your questionnaire

Once I have it, we'll hop on a call while I (lovingly) squeeze everything I need out of you to make your website perfect.

Research time!

I squirrel away to research your market, your competitors, your clients, and SEO goodies.

Your first peek

When I have all of your copy ready, I'll send everything to you via Google Doc. You'll take your time with it and leave as many comments for me as you'd like.

Review your copy

I'll present you with an outline — a peek under the curtain — and once you approve it, I squirrel away again and WRITE.

I deliver Round 2

I'll incorporate your comments and revisions into a final sparkly, ready-to-go copy doc.

Final review call

You and I will meet for a final review (and make any final tweaky tweaks until your copy is perfect).

Celebrate!

The final copy is yours to hand to your designer or enter into your template — time to celebrate!

ARE WE A MATCH?

Let’s start a (borderline unhealthy) relationship if you appreciate …

GREAT COMMUNICATION

You’ll never be in the dark with me. You’ll know exactly what I’m working on, what’s next, and what to expect. When you work with me, *I’m* doing the work — not you.

ATTENTION TO DETAIL

The tiny text under a photo … some witty copy on a button … all of those details make your site a mind-blowing experience to read. Your visitors will go giddy over the little pops of personality I smatter across your website.

OPEN MIND + DIALOGUE

I go SO deep into your brand and your business that we often uncover even more clarity together. I’m never surprised when my clients have a few aha moments. We’ll speak kindly and candidly and have a baller time together.

HAVING FUN

Copywriting IS fun! When you’re in my world, you’ll think so, too. Your website doesn’t need to be a big, hairy stressful project. I’ll make it eye-opening and hilarious. (You might want to start a new business just to work with me again.)

Prefer to DIY your copy?

All good, my love! If now’s not the right time for a copywriter, I have exactly what you need to make sure your writing is still packed with personality.

The Writer’s Room is your (non-boring) writing course that encourages demands that you screw the rules and learn how to write funny, clever copy with a sh*t-ton of personality.